pee! pleeeease!

hewwo here i am back again... yeah i know it's kinda quick for my standards haha. =) oh well, whatevaaaa... hmmm... anyways, i'm here once again at wan wan's place... he's sleeping 2 or 3 feet away, BUT is NOT snoring YET haha. what an acheivement! =p still luv ya bro! =) just came from lynettes' after i couldn't pass her sister joy's offer to watch a sad, sad, tearfalling, sappy soppy sobby or whatever korean movie. man i havent cried like that for ages haha. the movie's called "windstruck". really nice movie to watch especially when u really like put urself into the tv or movie sort of thing. really made me cry like a... ermm... baby? but then again, i am a cry baby. i can cry watching an ad haha. but i do laugh easily too! =)

anyways... what am i doing here again at cheng wan's u might wonder? no, dont worry. i'm not a pe-do-fil (dunno how to spell lar) nor am i into incest. =) i'm here waiting til it's 6 something so that i can go to mandy's place and wake her up and get her pee, and let her get back to sleep again... yes, u heard me right. pee as in pee pee, wee wee, shee shee or just urine hehe. =) yeah, i got a medical check up later at 9 so that's where it's going hehe. no, not for drinking or any other purposes which might have to do with me. =) why i need the pee? guess lar... cos i just got my period so i don't wanna be embarrassed when i bring the pee out with bits of blood in it... =) hehe... duh. if u really believed that then a pat on ur back now for ur good perception of me. thanks! =)) anyway, i like just only got the container to keep it not too long ago, as usual, last minute... oh ya.. got to thank her for looking and getting it for me... THANKS LYNETTE!!! ur a sweetie! muacks! =) she got a perfect container for me... it's like the little plastic ones u can keep sauce in it.. like chicken rice's chilli sauce or something... so it'll be much easier for mandy to pee inside haha. okok.. stop scringing ur face... i know it sounds digusting. =) oh well, wish me luck that i'll get away with it!!! =) thanks. hehe.

i was quite very happy today...

..................

..................

..................

anyway, there's one thing that's been skipping around this pea brain of mine for quite a while. i've finally gotten down to pinning it down. it's actually when ur in a state where u kinda of having something that makes u happy but u dont it want fully... the thing is, why wouldnt someone want all of something that makes them happy? hmmm.. maybe it's because u know u can lose it anytime, maybe cos u dont know what will happen next, maybe it's the moments which ur afraid would be different, maybe ur just too selfish or even maybe just too generous? haha. but then again, it's just me. i guess i like to see it in a way that i like the thrill of not getting enough grip, excitement of the unknown, pleasures of the moment , enjoyment at no expense or maybe just not selfish enough to want it for me and only me alone. well, maybe it's just for now, maybe it's not. dont know and dont wanna know. as usual, life going with the flow. haha. yay! i finally got it out in a more understandable way. i like blogs man. i always seem to have a problem getting out shit that's going thru my black hole and being able to erase, edit and alter really helps alot. hehe.

btw, did u notice that the fonts r in the colour of pee? ermm... well at least MY pee... hehe.

oh, cheng wan's started to snore already... yay! at least i dont have to worry bout falling asleep haha! it's 5.41am on wan's computer clock... got a lil while more to go. guess i'll leave to mandy's at 6.30 or so... scared jam jam lar.

anyway,

wrist's painful liao.

on d second day of x'mas...

well well... what have we here.... ermmm... me and a pc in cheng wan's hse on the second day of christmas and/or boxing day... a beer by my side, usher's burn on my launchcast, finally got to loading the good shit from my pen drive onto my multiply account and ermmm... cheng wan snoring a feet or two away... aik! oh well better than being home alone again pratically trying to memorise each and every channel on astro. anyways, i just learnt a new word today... jiwang... totally had no farking idea what it meant cos cwan cant even come close to explaining what it means... all he gave me was this kesian cham-cham doe-eyed look and he though one of us taught him that haha. finally got lucas to do the explanation. ahem... here it is...

jiwang dot dot : nostalgic in a romantic way.

ohh... how sweet is that. instantly hooked onto it. could say very near to what i'm feeling right now. haih... a pretty good but bad feeling. not supposed to but dont care. unexpected but excited, not according to plan but dont give a shit... or at least trying not to... whatever... RoX JiWaNg!!!

been having lil self discovery thoughts going thru my head recently. cant help realising that i unconciously and unintentionally always put myself on the edge time and time again. why? why? why? constantly skips through my lil pea brain and cos it's so small it comes by more often. the question i mean. damn. i've got like lil debates going on thru my head which goes like " oh! u like thrills" or "u always need to be hanging on the edge of the cliff... it's ok! it's just u!" hmm... sounds almost coo-coo huh. yeah i prolly am. and these lil debates most of the time end up giving me reason to keep doing shit and that's prolly why my life has always been, is still and i think will always be... shit... unless maybe a miracle happens which i'm not sure whether i want it to or would let it happpen or not.

arrgh... currently my mind's overflowing with these footsteps of random thoughts which i cant say are good or bad. it honestly is just random... as in random, random. no particular meaning or direction. not an evil, nor holy thing. not for anyone, nor myself. not for the future, nor present, nor past. not for the better, nor worse. not for anything at all... i think. i think i think too much... correction : i know i think too much. i really cant help it. everything that goes on around me seems to be amplified from all angles. i think my problems is i think of too many reasons for a particular thing whether it's something someone said or something someone did... i tend to automatically think like why did the person say or do that. does it mean exactly as it goes? are there any other meanings to it? any signs of insincerity? then my mind starts coming up wit scenarios and situations to why it came to that. i try many times not to let it take over but sometimes i guess i'm not chilled enuff to handle it... for now, but i know i'll get over it one day... i guess it'll be when i realise there's a good enuff reason to or not to... or whateva...

ARGH! i think that's enuff for now from my black hole. my back's feeling a lil lighter already now haha. i know i prolly sound quite melancholic today but dont get me wrong. i'm think and know that i'm honestly a pretty happy person from the inside to out. i think i'm truly happier than alot of ppl i know and prolly dont know. haha. whatever.

i'll prolly get round to that some other time. adios. wan wan waking up liao and matt bugging us to pick him up to makan. YAY! nice song on now... abit overplayed but anyway, still good... "i dont mind spending everyday, out on the corner in the pouring rain... " yeah...

last call, usher's burn to a certain someone out there.

and also hopefully for someone else to another too. =)

dont bother trying to figure haha.

finally!

haih... i finaaaaaaaaaaly got myself here again after many tries and attempts... hey! i did try ok so quit bugging me! hehehe... =) it's all good... din know i was thaaat hot... =p *perasaning* hahaha... anyway, there's quite alot of shit that's on this lil stinky shit brain of mine. i really dunno which to put in ur face. i'm msn-ing wit cheng wan (my beloved bro) now and he just said write everything. haih... but u know me lar... just the purest form of malasness. he says he's bored, so i asked him to do his blog also instead of just waiting for mine. then he said he's got nothing interesting to say cos he's not doing anything... well, does it really have to be interesting wan meh. r we like supposed to like impress and make sure ppl hack ur crap? hmmm... but i thought it's supposed to be like ur new-age diary or journal or whatever, where u just say whatever crap u want to, for sanity/emotional/mental or whatever other reasons. well, this is what i blog for, to release shit, or in better words... release tension lar. it sure is less tiring than writing, less painful then "kuk"ing ur shit out especially when ur piles like just went back to it's den... =) takes less time than letting it out at mamak and saves more of your life too cos u take less sugar and nicotine! (well, in my case lar cos i gotta rely on cafes'... poor me!) anyway, my point is, i think u shud do whatever a diary/journal is meant for, saying whatever shit u wan to and not giving a damn whoever fucking sees it. =) well sue me. i honestly think the whole of the above is just a load pathetic crap. except for my bro lar... =) muacks! haih... i also dunno what the hell i'm supposed to be getting at... whatever lar... i just felt i needed to put at least a lil,lil something here cos i did kinda actually, ermm... feel guilty?! ahaha... that's funny, i hardly feel guilty in my life and here i am feeling guity to an inanimate piece of konon high tech, new age, IT bunch of bolox. haha. this is like my asshole, where my shit is supposed 2 come out from and onto something else... other than jo and char lar, hehe... love u guys! well, anyway, as i was saying, u gotta like take care of your asshole cos if not, ur gonna suffer man! i honestly learnt it the hard way haha... no, not anal. sucks when shit cant come out man... i guess it's the same for alot of the other parts of your body... mind lar, heart lar, balls lar, bla bla bla...



phasing out...









mind suddenly blank.