His face glows among the grey background of fading faces.
A gentle smile and wave that says, "It was good to see you, too bad you couldn't join", sends enough warmth to sustain the way home on a chilly autumn night.
As I stroll on the wet, rainy streets, the tummy grumbles at the mind's logic of eating late and eating out, again. The person succumbs, and settles for a relatively inexpensive looking sushi bar which seems to have some life in it. "Maybe that might lift my drenched spirits", I thought.
The chef is busy but politely asks if it's a seat for one and curtiously, I nod trying to squeeze in the last ounce of positivity I have left for the day.
Patiently, I wait to be asked to order, trying not to rush an already exhausted chef. Instinctually, I did exactly the opposite as I enjoyed my watching him in action.
Swiftly, I ate my first 3 orders and Gently, I ordered more. Patience has never been my virtue, hence my increased awareness and effort in recent times.
As I force feed myself with pickled ginger in a bid to both challenge myself and pick up local customary habits, the instant reflex of being at unease is to grab the phone.
I pick up on where I left off on my free Google Book of Tesla. Getting too engrossed in his story, I cry. My heavy heart heaves for people like him and Alan Turing, incredible beings with such wonderful minds, but such tragic endings.
It inspires and de-motivates me at the same time. Their self-sufficient hearts fuel their passion and creativity which ignites their imagination and sets them to work against all odds. Or maybe, it's the other way round.
Finishing the read, I feel a heightened sense of longing and the hole in my heart, and I wonder if they had too ? Was it filled with a sense of unrequited love to contribute to society that drowned that ache or do highly intelligent beings just adeptly condition themself because they are able to see through the shallow waters of the human flow and thus, make peace with it ?
As I look up to these heroes, I couldn't help but to equip myself with more knowledge and aspire towards intelligence. As I look towards intelligence, I can't help but feel that it might lead to distance from people and eventual loneliness. I have made peace with eventual loneliness, and it doesn't take a genius to easily achieve this result.
Sometimes I struggle to believe it will be worth it in the end. Most times I believe it will. But tonight, I am vulnerable. I feel like a puppy, chasing tails and longing to love and be loved.
And I'm ok with that.
Seasons come and go, and this too, shall pass.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Jaques brel famous musician
Georges Lemaître Invented the big bang theory
Edward de Smedt, chemist and inventor of modern-day road asphalt
Lambert Adolphe Quetelet, mathematician and inventor of the Body Mass Index
Gerardus Mercator, cartographer, mathematician and geographer
Adolphe Sax, inventor of the saxophone
Leo Hendrik Baekeland, inventor of the synthetic resin known as "bakelite"
Joseph Plateau, inventor of the stroboscope
Ernest Solvay, inventor of the Solvey process (ammonia)
Jean Baptiste "Django" Reinhardt, inventor of the two-finger guitar playing technique
Jean Joseph Etienne Lenoir, inventor of the internal-combustion engine
Charles Van Depoele, inventor of the electric railway
Zénobe Gramme, inventor of the Gramme dynamo
Constant Loiseau, inventor of the optometer
Belgium was also the first countrie to abolish slavery!
Also first president of Europe ever Herman van Rompuy
Eddy merckx the best cyclist ever
at 8:37 PM
|shade of red|
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
"Here's an e-mail that I sent out a while back on what I mean by sapiosexual. The message was in response to "What gender do you prefer in sex and/or a relationship?"
Me? I don't care too much about the plumbing. I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humor.I decided all that means that I am sapiosexual. I want to fuck with peoples minds. :)
I invented this term while on too little sleep driving up from SF in the summer of '98 and I'm trying to propagate it as much as possible. So please use it when appropriate...But where's the gender in all that? That people that I find like that also happen to have marvelous, wonderful bodies happens to be a perq. Flesh is fun...You can only fuck someone for so long (5-8 hours is finite) but you talk forever."
~ Darren Stalder
at 12:26 PM
|shade of red|
Friday, October 21, 2011
As usual, it's been a while since I last visited. Guess its nothing much out of the ordinary as there are only that many reasons why (I think) people blog. Obviously there are more, but I'm just in the mood to stereotype people.
1.) They are single
2.) They just broke up or going through a rough patch
3.) They are trying to sell their souls (i.e. make money) to/from bored people
4.) Attention deficit people
5.) People who are seriously passionate about something and actually provide a very insightful, inspiring or helpful read
For me, I just remembered I actually have a blog after visiting someone else's.
And the weather is chilly;
Which inevitably makes my mood go melancholic;
And as usual, melancholy usually directs me here.
Which has been a while, or rather I've been keeping myself pretty "organised" and having a very"routine-d" lifestyle.
But who cares. I'm out.
at 11:50 PM
|shade of red|
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
. I don't get to write in here as much as I would like to .
. I've kind of shifted my attention to platforms in need of much less attention .
. I think ?
. I've cheated .
. I have a tumblr account .
. There, I said it .
. Hey, I can't totally write depression all the time if-you-know-what-I-mean .
. So for less emotionally depriving and denuding shit, I chisel myself at pheroxia.tumblr.com .
Ahh . . . The bliss of Honesty .
at 9:57 AM
|shade of red|
Monday, November 16, 2009
The glum and grey come a-tapping ,
On the dust-filled cracks of my window sill ,
I hear you , the harsh earned tear and tears ,
A-drip and a-shudder ,
Across , in view , the mournful skies ,
In my eyes .
Of once , of twice , of thrice ,
The mulling and the killing ,
The worn and withered ,
Void of once lay ,
The thumping , knocking , yelping ,
Of my actual , real and war-torn ,
at 4:01 PM
|shade of red|
Friday, September 04, 2009
Of clamshelled stones as the current hits,
Knocking and so foresaid the lightning speaks,
Waving and wading,
The shimmering swords of the great blue,
Encrusts their everyready dagger sycophants,
To please and amuse, for distrust and doubt .
To lay admist them in their ploy of demolition,
And to scatter to shun the incitement,
A yearning gasp unleashed, long and overdue
It awakens to bethinks its' presence .
The chaw of rage nips at the feet of fury,
In this absinthal state of cloying discourse.
The intensities constants the lethargy,
Lethargy of the habitual opulence,
Leavens the creed of your spasmodic nod .
Not the stone, but the shell .
at 9:28 AM
|shade of red|